I'm making this public for a reason

[angelkitty101]

I think everyone has commented on the current survey into the causes of rape. Mainly that it appears to be the 'common' perception that 'Women ask for it'. It is horrifying to think that even now this belief persists that women are to blame for this. I was appalled to think that this issue existed in 1995 when I started Uni, and now I find that 10yrs later, the attitude is still there.

Rape is not a crime about sex, it is about power, humiliation etc. I have heard many excuses for rape, one of the worst being 'I took her out, I paid for her drinks, I bought her meal, I got the taxi, she owed me.'

The following are three comments from judges presiding over rape cases in the 90's

'As the gentlemen of the jury will understand, when a woman says no she doesn't always mean it' - Judge Raymond Dean

'If she doesn't want it she only has to keep her legs shut' - Judge David Wild

'Rape is an activity that is normal...she asked for it...boys will be boys' - Nicholas Fairbairn MP QC

Part of me had hoped that this attitude was on the wane. How wrong I was.

It is still a man's world, my mum had to get my dad to agree in writing to close their joint account, if he had wanted to do it, he did not need her consent. When she moved into her new house, all the bills were initially in his name.

In closing, I direct you to a post originally made by the divine tomyris, which I have shamelessly half-inched

Because women’s work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and we’re the first to get the sack and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it’s our fault and if we get bashed we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos and if we don’t we’re frigid and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a ‘real’ man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect community care for our children we’re selfish and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and ‘unfeminine’ and if we don’t we’re typical weak females and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man and if we don’t we’re unnatural and because we still can’t get an adequate safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion and …for lots and lots of other reasons, I am part of the Women's Liberation Movement.

Comments

[rhionnach.livejournal.com]

If either party on a joint account wish to close that account they have to get it agreed in writing from the other party. This is applied to all regardless of sex. I used to worK for a bank and product knowledge was something we had to swot up on.

[faerieevenstar.livejournal.com]

I'm really trying my best to avoid going off on one in my own LJ about this... it's fucking disgusting...

*sniff*

[ranalf-lj.livejournal.com]

I agree with the fact that many of the things you state here are clearly unfair to women.

However I think the recent survey has been blown out of proportion and has been badly misrepresented in the media and on forums such as these. You yourself imply that there is a perception that women 'ask for it' or it is somehow their fault. This is indeed *not* what the survey is saying, it is an exaggerated reaction to what the survey *appears* to imply.

The survey suggests that a certain proportion of men feel that women are in *some way* responsible/at fault/incidental in the cause of their own rape.

It is very badly worded.

"In some way" *could* mean 0.001% of the 'blame', the rest falling on the male. There is a world of differnce between saying 'she was obviously asking for it' and 'her behaviour contributed towards provoking the incident'

It can be argued there is a difference between rape following assault on a stranger, and rape after a raunchy night of consensual drunken flirting and petting.

It is not saying that anyone in a short skirt deserves to be raped or that any bloke who doesnt take no for an answer is any less of a bastard.

It is trying to say that there is a perception that if a man wanders down the dodgy part of town late at night with a big sack of cash, he is contributing to the likelyhood of being mugged. (however unjust, immoral and illegal the act of mugging)

Similarly it is saying that there is a perception that if a girl wanders down the dodgy part of town late at night dressed in a sexy manner, she is contributing to the likelyhood of being raped. It is not condoning the act in any way, and is not bringing rights into question.

It is also saying that there is a perception that if a girl gets drunk, engages in heavy petting with her 'boyfriend' and makes sexual advances but then denies sex, she is contributing to the likelyhood of him forcing her.

There are probably a number of such examples or cases which are not as black and white as they seem at first glance. Check the tabloid press for details. (The two(!) girls 'raped' by a football star after spending the evening on drink/drugs with him getting a cool $20k for their story..)

The people (men?) who have this perception and have thus answered so in the survey (to which we do not know the wording, or the sample group) are not some part of an anti-feminist movement and are unlikely to be serial rapists. They just seem to oppose the notion that rape is *always* "Evil man rapes virtuous woman and is 100% to blame" (Which is a gut-reaction stereotype in men and women alike.)

There has, in my opinion been a lot of hysteria about this survey, which has been hyped to sell news. Im not a huge fan of Amnesty International as it seems to have done this on a number of occasions.

I am a big fan of equality, but also a fan of playing Devils Advocate. I am also a big fan of accuratly presenting statistical research. Rape is Evil and should be punished.

Modern society and popular culture encourages women to behave like sex objects and encourages men to try to posess them. Although the *legal* blame for a rape lies with the male, I think the survey is a chance to think what other influences are in action here, and in what amount.

Please dont take this *in any way* as an attack on you or the female sex!

Dave

[angelkitty101.livejournal.com]

Devils Advocate - is that a board game? *grin*

This is what happens when I write rants at silly o'clock at night!

[ranalf-lj.livejournal.com]

It could be, but I always preferred Devils Advocaat ;-)

[angelkitty101.livejournal.com]

I hear it makes a mean snowball!

[threetrees.livejournal.com]

Nobody EVER asks to be raped. Doesn't matter what sex you are, or what your values are, or how you dress. No means no.
There's never any excuse.

[vixerella.livejournal.com]

I think its a discrace...there is no excuse xx